23 Apr 2009
Why Didn't They Make That?
Fans of horror, sci-fi, and monster movies know all too well that feeling of ‘why are they making’ or ‘re-making that’? Most of the movies we adore, for better or worse, are sequeled and remade on an endless cycle. But what of those films that slipped through the producers net or have been damned to an eternity in development hell? The films that really deserved, more so than others, a sequel or a long running franchise. Take a look at the following Deadly Movies nearquels:
Gremlins 3: Doesn’t make any sense why this didn’t happen. Great films and great title characters. Yes Gremlins 2 was a send up parody of Gremlins, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have gone in a different direction for a part 3. Plus the great thing is you're not reliant on the humans; so if the original cast wouldn’t or couldn’t return then audiences would still turn out to see Gizmo and his dysfunctional relatives.
The Burning 2: This 1981 slasher gem has everything going for it: Tom Savini special effects, a great killer (Cropsy), awesome kills, and it came out right at the dawn of the slasher explosion, so there was plenty of time and room for sequels. Cropsy could easily have become as synonymous as Jason or Michael; he had a trade mark look (trench coat and hat, throw in the burns of Freddy, who it pre dates by the way) and a signature weapon, hedge shears. Cropsy does meet a rather definitive end during the film’s finale, but when has that ever stopped the rejuvenating world of horror?
My Bloody Valentine 2: As above really. Fantastic looking killer in the shape of the Miner, and the ending is left very open. Considering how films like Sleepaway Camp (1983), Prom Night (1980), and Slumber Party Massacre (1982) managed to generate seven sequels between them, it’s hard to imagine how these two more solid efforts did not.
Predator 3: Why oh why oh why did we never get a P3? Such great sci-fi monster movies are parts 1 and 2 that a part 3 seemed a no brainer. Instead of this, and instead of an Alien 5, we got a very tame AVP (2004) and the extremely poor AVP2 (2007). The Predator is a standout iconic creature (creation of special effects Icon Stan Winston); as it proved with P2, it can survive the loss of star with the magnitude of Arnie. Audiences will go and see the creature no matter which human meals are laid before it.
Want to chew on some more nearquels? Wrap your mouth around these ideas: Jurassic Park 4 (why not? Part 3 was good), The Thing 2 (it’s a shape shifter so you can go anywhere with it), The Preying Mantis 2 (had to get a 50s one in there), Freddy vs Jason 2 (why not? Admit it, it is fun. This time with Kane Hodder as Jason), Relic 2 (Another explorer mutates and goes loco somewhere), Alien 5 (reasons above).